A year

At this moment , end of year 2010 is approaching . Remin me happening of end of year 2009 . Time really did flies as fast as rocket !

I miss my friends ! Especially my best buddy ! I miss all of them . How they have been . It's been long time since we update on each other .

Our laughter , our stupidness , our jokes , our homeworks . Do all of you remember ? We used to be so good like a couple
Instead of best buddy . Miss , really miss !!

Last minute towarda big big big goverment exam , we used to hang out at library , KFC , to have a group study . We memorise , helping each other . How nice it would be !! Awww . . We could not return I understand . But , we shall keep in touch and contact . Who knows we need each other in the future for some reason ?

Okay , stop being emoo !! hard time coming . It's totally different from last time . Friends not as nice as before . Different culture for me . Well , slowly adapt with it and get used to it .

Everything gonna be fine !! Move on and do not be worry ~ lovessss !! "))

Random

Mind just came through , how we accompany each other those day . Someday I may forget but how about you ? 3 years ! It's not short , it's long . How we did care for each other . Arguement .

Deep inside my heart , wishing you could find me back . Asking me a serious question . I may change . But ever since you did not . I just could say , I MISS YOU !!

How have you been ? I used to ask you to be as strong as enough . Yay , you may did it . But I hope so to me .

Do not look back ! Move onn !!

Miss

I missed you . Songs that playing could not stop me from thinking of you . It's sweet when you're besides me .

Remember , for once , we quarrel-Ed , you beg me not to leave . I follwed you . Months pass by , we used to be better .

But why , when I asked you not to go , you did not apologised and run away ? I missed you !!

We meant for each other . Why don't you stay here with me ? I am ready to let go . I just wish myself all the best and move on without you !!

Push away

You've been pushing away my love . Did you still remember how I get to feel and so to you ?

So , how's your life lately ? It's been awhile since we update each other . 6 months . Half of the year . It just passed so fast . Can you feel it ?

Days without , seeing others . I wish could be even happier :))

All the best !! ^o^

Bless

Perhaps ; a good news or bad news ? You've got into relationship . How do you get to feel ? Are you still remembering if me as a friend of yours ? I did bless you , did you see my bless ?

I feel a little disappointed that I could not have you perhaps you owned by someone . Maybe we would be happier if previous does not happen on me .

Regretted for it but it's too late babee !! =))

Anyway , life move onn ! Good luck ~ "))

Hi

Hyee :D

How's life have been ? Fine great all the way I could describe .

End of story I felt relief but it's so much bored ! Hahass

A song

A song feeling like being with you so long . A journey together we walked . Missing you lately . How have you been ?

Loved a person like you , i felt wrong sometimes but still thanks to you for giving me such opportunity to see round the world .

Not only you . I might be so lonely now . Live life to th fullest !

Thanks love ~ I will keep moving on =}

A song

A song feeling like being with you so long . A journey together we walked . Missing you lately . How have you been ?

Loved a person like you , i felt wrong sometimes but still thanks to you for giving me such opportunity to see round the world .

Not only you . I might be so lonely now . Live life to th fullest !

Thanks love ~ I will keep moving on =}

Today

Yay today I found an evidence , you're still with her . Holding her pictures , smiling on it , reminding of those memories . Yay , exactly 2 years you mentioned . IT'S HER !! No one refuse to say so .

You made me down just because I felt . My appearance is useless . You made my life down to the earth . I am regreting to ever owned you . It's my biggest mistake .

Yay , I moved forward to letting you know I am better than be with you . I deserve a better than you !

Move on . Keep going on ~ be happy for the sake of tomorrow ~

God bless ~ =))

The end

That's the end that I could say . Back to the place we ever been . How our date been . I hope today I go with happily and end it up happily .

It true to back the end place we ever been then end there too .

I bless you with hapiness <3 lovess ~

Scary

Scary sia ~ as in sometimes I do find that I wanted to help whatever I can but it depends with my ability . What I can I will but I failed to do so today as in comforting a real patient . I'm out of advice and I suddenly felt blank :)) what can I do to improve my patient ?

The time you choose to go it's also a very good choice cause u knew your heart are still there . earlier you let go and I also earlier let go you . You've made a very good choice anywhere .

Sorry I did not hold you tight . Everytime I just felt disappointed cause you can't made your word but I do made my words :))

I am so sorry ~

Be with me Lord . Thanks !

Gone completely

A song remind me of my stupidness . Hahaa' a puppy love wasting my time . Think back felt funny sia . Hahaa'

Do not think too much ~ let it be . Open up a big big eyes to see what's wrong . Hahaa'

To be with you , Lord =)

How much

How much could you afford to give me ? Non of the answer correct cause you can't afford what I want .

Yupp as you said do not look back once the chain is separate into two cause it ain't that strong anymore .

But you never try never know cause different people will have different way of life .

Anyway , I'm fine with it . You played . So am I . =))

Bloody stress

So , how's life getting on ? I've no words to describe except wanted to describe it as same words with the title ; b l o o d y s t r e s s ! ^o^

I've got loads of things to talk and express out but I don't really know who are comfortable for me to express . Felt like i'm under-control by someone . It's jutst so hard to feel and take !

Most probably ; 98 % , I will gone crazy because of this and that matter . Sometimes my mind just went black and could not think much . Stuck half way right before the middle ~

I can stand with all this until when ? Yupp , I'm living with God who Do protect me but sometimes God get so busy and I have to handle it by myself .

I just wish there is someone who can hold me . Take good care of me . Giving a comfortable companion to me . I badly need a shoulder to lean on ~

God bless me with all the faith . Moving on . No matter what be humble . Keep practising . Be positive !! =}

Leaving

Yupiee 3 weeks of vacation just end right today again . How time flies that we never realize . Yupiie . I enjoyed myself Very much !

Specially thanks to my family who accompany me very much . Who gave , fulfill my dreams and request . Though I'm away I do always remember if you guys ! Do not forget you half another at different country . May not worry me !

I got no idea until I landed myself at a country same as yours . I start to have the feeling of seeing you meeting you . So , I do not put loads of hope . If we do meet that's our fate . If we do not I will move on once again . So , the answer told me . Do not search for him anymore . It's not mine ! Yet , I've to move on and on ! If we meet I might be happy . We should continue our journey as a friend . But we do not . Well , I'm sorry . I have to be cruel as I do not want to hurt myself again and again .

Loads of question needed to ask you ! After I've gone such few months . Do you miss me or think of our moment like how I used to be ? Are you even happy after go ? Slowly you learnt and know something better . I miss you ! Are your life better ? Do you smoke a lot too ? You ever said after we go separate we do still a friend . I am waiting you to say even a hi or hello to me .

Yup I could not hope for so much but I just want you to remember of me :) you ever said you will make my life happy . You ever said you do not know how to make me happy but you did know how to protect me . I did not ask for so much . I though you are ready to let go her and with me . But you are not ! Why ? Am I too much ?

Happy moment always pass damn fast . Well this is life . Slowly you will understand . Caring . Wish everything will going smoothly again !

Thanks ! Really a big thanks ! I did not know how to give back but my tears worth to mean it . I though I am stronger but hope just a disappointment . Do not hope but shun qi zhi ran !

Loves you all ! In your name Lord , I pray , offering my both hand , I love you , thank you so much !

Ooh prince faster come out of my life . I need you ! Hahas ^0^

Morning

Hello :D worries encounter me . Why ? Wish everything smoothly ^o* !

I don't understand why it's been months yet i still compare between me & her . I wish one day I could hear about what's your heart think of ; before & after . I need the answer to move on . As if not
, I'm still behind the shadow following the footstep of both of you . It's just so hard and suffering man !

Your day around the corner . What should I do for you intend for you to ask me a chance again ? I did not want your fully attention but I just want you to know we need each other badly * you might not know but I believe ~

Alone ! Omgg it's just so alone . What
Should I do ?

Praise the Lord being with me always . Thanks so much ; LOVES ! :))

omgg

omggg ! i just damn hate myself for now ! i cant forgive what is going on right now . uhhh ~

TEASE MY ABILITY ! am i that weak until you have to do that on me . am i just the loser who look down by society . SYMBOLIC INTERACTIONAIST ! by giving me a symbol where i cant do this and that . WTF ! who not going to be pissed off if it happen on them . SHIT !

i still own a pair of legs a pair of hand both eyes and OF COURSE my SIX SENSE ! helll ~ cant i do it by myself . i just dont undertstand WHYYY ~ ever since from the start i dont dont and DONT understand WHYYY ! who can tell me . not even myself .

are you sure you can live happily if you lied yourself ? are you sure the happiness now can replace it next time ? are you sure everyone will proud with what you have ? are you sure people will envy on it ? are you sure people will not look down me ? are you sure this is equal to me ? WTF !

arghhhh ~ i cant understand why ! i need companian ! whooooooo ? urgghhh ~ it's like when you slightly doesnt do well in exam and marker just gave you a certificate . without confirmation of knowledge and you get a proud from crown ; will you feel happy or will you feel guilty ? no one understandddd I BELIEVE !

it's really make me worst down ever i had !

Lantern fest !

Yeap ! I'm having my vacation now . At my home place with family . It's nice and warm around them . Eating non-stop . But . . There's something behind where I can't hide .

Days by days . Worries keep increasing . UNIFORM ! Can u suit me again ? Oh shit ! :X hahaa' depression ~ SIGH ~ hahaa' what should I do for a better me ?

Pray for me . Loads if loves peeps ^.^

why

i may drop but it's the pain i cant bear with . how my heart goes . i need a cheer . can i ? everytime i try but i fall . why . everytime i stand up by myself . it goes and goes . maybe it's the way for me not to give up . stand strong babee ! you have me and i have you . world still here , chances so much for us to try . not to give up ! wooots :D sound i am comforting myself . where's my friend goes when i need them a lot ? no one cares . no one bother to know . why . cause i ain't good than others . i dont have high heels , beautiful dress but i own a heart to be with you guys . well , keep praying for the best . move on and TRY .

Pray in the name of Lord LOVESS ! ^. ^

Exist important ?

Hell day ! Omggg ~ could not describe in words how it gonna happen . Is exist important after all ? You saw me but you hide from me . When do I get a better to deserve ? Yeap ! Time heal everything but those days you can easily let go but ain't me . Were wondering how you could go for it . Handsome ? Ain't you ! Tall ? Ain't you ! Why do people get into you ? Miserable seriously ;(( to the max ! Uhhh ~ time to put down !

Focus babee ! Come on ! Hear Gods word . Talk to him . Everything will be fine . That's all . I pray in my name , LORD ! "}

How ?

Boy , how have you been ? Everyone searching for you just wanted to know how have been you doing . Why don't you leave a message telling you're fine ? How could you leave us desperately ? Missing you thousand of words ~ loves ! =}

520 message

For 520 message , I kept a memories to remember when firstly we knew . How sweet you are . For once I LOVE YOU . HAHAA' sincerity may not be there ~ hahaa'

520 message

For 520 message , I kept a memories to remember when firstly we knew . How sweet you are . For once I LOVE YOU . HAHAA' sincerity may not be there ~ hahaa'

17.07.2010

Hey ! A memorable day and night with friends . Shopping . Concert . Lord , I felt a lot relief ! Yay , you've made me into another world again . I am happy with what I am now . THANKFUL !

Thanks ! From head to toe for those who leas my day . Bringing me into another world . Leaning . Meeting . New place . Friends . Am happy ! Great to have all of you who there to support me when I really need . Thanks again !

And now , finally , I know who the one I need and the one I should ignore . Well , I loves everyone . SERIOUSLY !

For those who plalyed my feelings . Well , there's a lot that I slighty lie or hide , you don't even know . LUCKILY ! It's fair for you and me . But you doesn't knew it . Right ? Hahaa' exactly you're a FOOL . But you doesn't know ! Hahaa' wanted to play ? Okay . We play . Dare or truth ? Come on ! Hahaa' well , missing her you admit . Am just like a third party . I bare . I believe one day you will get what you will get . Feel what you should feel . I've done with it . I can continue my life peacefully ! Hmm jia you , WEI ! Hahaa' I love you to deserve ~ muarkss ! :) . She worth more than me ? One day you will realize babee . I love you ! Hahaa'

Hmmm alone . Single . My choice . You hold my hand softly . Your Hans are too soft for me too . Although we are match but I believe you deserve better ! Forget and let you . Our first meet there and end there . I love you !

Lord , thanks for being under same roof with you . Glad and thanks ! Loves you much than ever ~ I pray . =} .

You made me stronger

Is it hard to believe . Im okay . After all , its been awhile . Since you walked away . Im way past crying . Over you finding someone else . You turned my days into nights . But now I see the light . And this maybe a big surprise to you . But you've made me stronger . By breaking my heart . You ended my life . And made a better one start . You taught me everything . From falling in love . To letting go of life . Yes , you've made me stronger . Baby, by saying goodbye . If you try to believe . Im not over you . Go ahead . Theres nothing wrong with making believe . I know . Cuz I used to pretend you'd come back to me . But time has been such a friend . Brought me to my senses again . And I have you to thanked . For setting me free . Cuz you've made me stronger . Think again . Dont feel so sorry for me , my friend . Oh, dont you know . Im not the one at the loosing end .

Leaving

For once , I have to leave my place . To go an unknown country , living alone without family . However , for once decision made , MOVE ON . It's kind of my life rountine . Moving here and there . Just to fulfill dreams givens by God . I am thankful for everything . Hope to be better than yesterday . Nothing much more , just hope for the moment will come and seek for me for once again next moment . Protect everywhere I go , to be safe and everything smoothly .

Dear Lord , I need you by my side . Protect me against Sins . I share to everyone . Lovesss ~ ^^v .

06.07.2010

Yeap , 3 more days to go . How time flies with an eyes close , after open , everything changes . Doesn't dare to face the new environment again . All alone . I knew , everyone will says , where are your friends there ? I knew , FRIENDS , but , still , each and everyone of us hope for someone that close to us . Right ? Hmm . . Still the same intention , hoping for the highest ! Though alone , still keep moving onnn .

Happy birthday Daddy ! lovess ya a lot . I'll try to fulfill your hopes on mee ^^v

To me or to her ?

A post I saw , tears roll on my cheeck . I cant said that it's for me cause it aint for me , FOR SURE . It's for your another half where you need her more than me . Well , I started to accept it and I understand for sure cause I used to it . I may be the invisible for you but , you're not to me . Why ? Life's unfair for once .

Strangerr , with Love

3rd months should been together . Where are you going now ? What are you doing now ? If we ever meet for once , how we would be ? Isn't that weird though ? I miss you . RECENTLY . Just hope you'll be fine there . You may visit here sometimes , but when you saw this post , I hope you'll think of me , how I felt , when you just run away from my life silently .

Boy , remember my words before I left you ? I'll stop finding you when I really get to give up . Give me somemore time , yet , now , today , I never bother you anymore . Right ? My words , trust me , I told you , but , you refuse , so , FINE , I hope you never get regret of it . We can be happy either , sharing together , but , you refuse the chances gave by God for us . Why ?

No , it's so much I have to say , but , I choose to keep , I may not forget but I experience it . Thanks .

So , what's going on with the new life , SINGLE all I can say . Adapt with new envirenment . Few days back , old friends , how our love grew , how you console me , how you tell me another meaning of world , thanks , and I am happy to see you're back here , doing something nice , forget the past , never look back , sweet sweet with your girl . Happy and remain till old yeah ! =D I wishh youu ~

Life , no idea x) lovesss !

Been through many blogs . I felt the inspiration . The 4th day since I came back , my home sweet home , Kuching . I felt happy , home is the best place to relax and have everything you want . Nevertheless , hope my relationships with family member can grow even stronger !

1 wish , PRINCE where are you ? =X

Lovesss .

Coming

3rd month together . 1st month away . Thanks for remembering me . Thanks for searching me . No matter where am I , where you are , honestly , I let you go freely . I admit I do miss you , but , it's over and I accept the truth going on . Don't need to avoid or scare or even ignore me cause you don't related to me now and forever . Yay , FRIEND , we should hold the position since very first day . We ain't match a happiness couple . You hold me tight , kiss me freely , pamper me sweetly , hug me warmly , for the last just to tell me , you will leave me alone no longer . Well , let it go , things alright right now , happy for those who need , help for those who want , live life to the fullest , BABE !

Lovess from me to youu , Lord ^^~

Happy Sweet 18th Birthday

10.06.2010 YESH ! I'll turn 18th . Not freedom but I've grown up . Go by myself . I felt proud , having my 1st birthday without family by side . Living alone , a new country , am still able to have a surprise and memorable birthday . Thanks to all my housemates as well as friends . Thanks for sacrified . I knew I'm stubborn yet you guys manage to fulfill the plan successfully .

Yet , the feeling changed when wondering family and friends at Malaysia do remember my day ? It happen once a year . Do they get to wish me ? Miss them so much ! ! Just a wish . I need a wish from them will be very very VERY enough ~ wish they manage to do it cause am aren't hope for so much . Right ?

Hmmm thanks Lord . Giving me this path . Never feel regret cause it's great than everyone thought before . Take a deep breath . Forget old steps . Go on with new steps . Both hand normally . Sincerely thanks a lot ! ^^v

No one other than my family . I miss them very much . Tears drop because them . I just want to say , I'm great here . Don't need to worry so much about me daddy mummy . I will be a great daughter . Achieve what you want from me without disappointment !

Lovess youu God . Bless me and everyone . Thanks for sharing .

Shadow

Just wondering do I ever gave you any sweet memories that are worth to be remember and can make you happy anytime ? Your shdow . Left behind me . Why I am still seeing your shadow that follows wherever I go ? I doesn't care about you but why I am still seeing the best part of you ? Why can't I delete the shadow of you . Another can replace you . But still YOU who appear . Isn't that unfair ? You miss her yet I miss you . Why ? Well , Let's get started by having fun of life ~ ! Throw the bad , get a new and replace . We will have a better one . ^^v

And now I understand why .

Don't care what others care about you . Cause they ain't know about their own weakness too . They use their mouth to judge . So , who cares ? As long I live happily in my own world . Nothing big deal man !

A conclusion I've made is that I understand why each and everyone scholar doesn't want to burden up their family and just came here for 9 years .

This is all about life how reality we are and something happen just because a reason behind .

A sleepless night . Why am I having this ?I just want to know did you miss me or silently missing her again ? How cruel you are to me by telling me all about you and others . I don't wish to know but just to update on it .

I don't feel being lonely just becaue I laugh in my own way . Tears drop why am I feeling this ?

Not much time left . Well , gather up your energy and fulfill your parent's dream Bettina Lim ! Just a little can make them happier c(:

All about us

Life comes and go . Break le still friend . What you told me . Did you really mean it or just a word to comfort me ? Day by day . Am getting great but still can't used to be lonely when there is free time . Feel like someone besides me telling me everything going smoothly . But I know next time we will be there again to visit our old place . All I wanted to say I LOVES YOU for once again ! ^^v

Life goes on .

-snOOpy- used to be our symbol of love . It passed for 4 years . And we to be together for 2 years and 11 months . How time flies . We go for separate way . Cause I knew I can deserve a better one and so to you . You sacrified enough to me I refuse to be with you ain't our wrong but it's because I wish you to change and don't torture ourselves . Until today you found me back , I found you back , you still remain the same . Why ? You told me You've change but still remain as the same . What for ? I don't understand why .

Why ?

Why my life getting miserable until today ? Why ? Why cant he make something to cheer up my heart . Just damn so down !

New days

Woooooo ~ First day I havent get to miss you anymore . But waking up by suffering from lungs pain . Why ? maybe because you're out of my heart where another new one replace it . Guess it sounds nice right ?

I seriously miss him a lot and i do ~!

Hell me not YOU

Ya , for the past 5 days , I turned to be bad as how bad you leave me . Just into memories how you changed my life for the 5 days .

I knew you wanted to back , but , why dont you ask for the chance , why need me to voice up and ask you to come back .

Xie xie ni de ai ! I love you very much cause I knew we meant to be as how I smell your smell even though you're sweating .

Wish , share it with you for once again .

Love is blind

It's 5th day since we had our last conversation and continuosly messaging . How much I miss you my dearest babee . Your smile , your voice , your smell , your laugh , your face , your attitude , everything of yours cant be describe in words .

And now , you put me all alone in an unknown country while you're going back to our own country where we start to know each other . How we met each other , how I leave you and you promise me will follow my footsteps I left . Yet , you made it to me , we've been together through the days will all alone and independently for a moment .

Memories you left it away yet you push everything on me . For once , I wanted to tell you , you will feel how I felt for this past 5 days . How suffer am I .

You make my courage to go on alone totally down to the earth . Can I survive all alone for the next 9 years ? You make a fool on me . You look so perfect but it doesnt consist of anything .

Love really make us blind . You keep my faith to go on when we're together . You gave me your name , I gave you my name . How faithful you towards me . But where does that all go to ? No one can give me any answer neither you ! You got me easily , why you put me easily too ?

I remembered how tight you hold me , hug me , kiss me for the last time . Never knew it's the last chance you gave to me to be with you . How cruel the world for us . And now , I cant felt it all again but the pictures of every steps we take still indeed clear on my mind cause you're better than others .

Feelings comes and goes too fast . I seek for forgiveness . Why dont you answer me , we're meant to be ? My world is falling down in the darkness . Where's all those promises you made to me ? It's empty .

There's so much more I never seen before . I couldnt find a way and change everything . I miss you deeply . You make me crazier and crazier . It's hard to forget the moment we spend together .

Maybe we took too much for granted to be together . My world is falling a part . Well , just let it flow . So much more I have to take again . I trying to get updated .

When you're here with me , you take away my pain and I felt relief but now , I take it all myself . Can I do so ? I'm overboard and I need your love . Pull me up . I cant swim in my own . It's too much . Feels like I'm drowning withour your love .

Lord , I pray with my both hands , sharing my sins with you , let me back to me for once , we had our joy together and spend my life here with me . I wish , it can be fulfill and now , I need happier life than before and not to take all this obstacle again .

Thanks for everything ! Loads of love from me to all of you . Wait me back and I will :D

Babee

Hahaa` i miss you very much . Hahaa`

9.05.2010

How much pain I have to bear to be with you . How much tears have to drop because of you . How much worth you are in my life . Why happy time ended so fast . Why it will not remain as what we want .

Boy , I miss you very much . Every flash back we have , it still remain in me . I love you , how much I deserve . I need you badly*

Thanks for so much . Still not enough for me . I need more from you . LOVES .

Thanks

7.05.2010 Thanks for coming back to me . Thanks for telling me I'm not others in you . I am yours . Everything fine . Things happen and it should be some reason behind . All I wanted to say is THANKS babee . I love you so muchh ! !((=

4.05.2010

5.05.2010 will be a month ago since I came here . A new and unknown country for me . So much things I have to learnt and know . I came here with all alone bringing myself here and there . My heart full of feeling hard . So much feeling I kept and bear for it . I never complaint so much and put a wide smile to everyone telling everyone I am fine here .

Friends . . It's really hard when it comes to independent . Words are easy to say but not easy to be done . I proven to me .

One thing I never regret and I have a very happy moment with my love one . We got nice time and we can accompanied each other whenever we need . We're so near . Thanks all to him .

Life . . No matter what , have a nice sleep and tomorrow's will be a nice day . Life goes on . Be tough and strong ! ! Good luck good luck ~ :D

Seriously , I miss everyone in Malaysia . I miss EVERYTHING . I try to get used of things here . I hope I can .

Byeee ~ See you next time :))

Pray for me in YOUR name , LORD .

Dear Friend

I miss you badly . Whenever I've got something to tell , I wish you were my ear . Hearing and sharing whatever keep inside m y heart . No one can I trust besides you . I really really REALLY miss you a lot . I wish time will turn back we're friend for once again !

18 April 2010

Wow . . I am back ! =)) Miss everyone badly* It's been 15 days since I reached Singapore here . Time flies . I thought it's just a week but it's been a fortnight . Hahaa`

Well , everything going smoothly as I never thought before . There's a lot of thing happened as not what I expected . To say truth , I got no feeling , there's no word to describe about my feeling . Even me myself keep on asking what do I really feel . And yet , I cant find the answer out until today .

Stepping into an unknown country , I feel missing , trying to get back myself . I wish I can do a lot better than others . There's a lot of thing I wanted to say but hardly express it out with words . I keep , I keep for myself .

I miss my babee . I need him a lot . Cheers ~ :D LOVES YOU .

Arghhhh

SO hurt again . Why he treat me like this again ? Why . So shit .

Lonely

I'll be alone . Alone . Alone . Alone . Alone . Alone . How can I describe about this feeling ? I'm totally lost without you . Hurt . But I never voice out cause I know you wont know about it . I'll bear . Bear as much as I can . This all I could do . Ohhh , how much I miss you . I really did . Day and night . It's too much pain to love a person deeply . So tired being lonely . We dont have to leave this way . I can't take it longer . I've no strength and power . What should I need to do ? I given you my best just hope you will stay by my side all day long . Why dont you STAY .

Oohh

It's 3rd April 2010` . 2 more days to go . I dont feel like counting the day , but it's the fact that I have to face with no regret . This is the way , the path , I've choosen with family blessing . God gave me direction while I am choosing . He lead me to this path . I accept with my sincere heart and I'll go for it . I can see through the obstacle while the procedure going on . I fall to the ground for few times . And I stand straight for it . Never give up . People around gave me hope and advice . Especially my parents . They never give up and try to help me go through the procedure . I really wanted to thanks them . I'll prove that I'll never be the servant , but I'll be the highest . I promise . I''ll make sure I can make it . Never let all of you disappointed again .

For those who look down the path I've choosen , nevermind , maybe you guys doesnt know well about it . I'll prove that it's interesting and it's meaningful . Whatever you guys say , talk , gossip , I'll hear , and I'll forget it cause it's my life . Who cares what you guys say . If you guys can be better than me . Well , dont think that you guys path is the best . It might be the worst if we doesnt put any effort and hoping for the best . Everybody , everything in this world would have risk , we respect each other and never be too proud .

That's all I want to say . I feel pissed off when people are trying to judge me . Although I got a good result . I still can choose to go for a DIRTY job cause my heart full of love , helping others that need , I am doing a job that whole world needs . Dont forget , one day you will fall sick and seek for my help .

No matter what path we choose , be determine . Never say words too early . Arggghhhh . . Stop judging me . I might not the best but I give all my best .

PLEASE . Bless my path , Pray for my success . Lord , I offer my hand , together we go through hard and easy . I love you with my heart . I pray with you .

Tired

Arggghhh . Feeling so tired right now . Feeling unwell kills me again . Headache ! Sien ! Why I have to suffer this again . I guess it's time for me to stop playing and go for serious stuff . A lot more stuff for me to be done and prepare . Why I dont feel to do it . Tired . Tired . I am so so so . Who can accompany me to go on . What had happened . Am I wrong in making decision again . I wish not . How it start naturally I wanted it to end naturally . I dont wish to make last choice . Fine , I stick with my own plan and go on for it . Too tired to bare with this kind of sucks feeling . I am a human . Up to you . Up to you . I dont care anymore . I am visible . I am no one . Downn downn downn to the EARTH .

Final

Everything finalist . A sign of relief . *happy* Things gonna change . Change into better or worst I'm not sure . Just pray for everything smoothly . Just me & you .

陈家伟&林婉仙

Come again

Sometimes I just feel weird . Why have to be like , LIFE UNFAIR . Why it can't fully belongs to you . Why you must share someone with another . So damn fooling ehh sometimes think back . Funny somemore . Sometimes just dont get why . But everday and night full of question marks . It can never be solve . Well , just LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST . Enjoy what you do . Be brave to face anything . This make my hope towards you getting lesser and lesser cause there's someone more . It's not a jealousy but the true heart between us infact sharing is CARING .

Why

Another of wondering why . Why he has to do so on me . Why he has . No idea . Arrrrrrggghhhh . . . . . . . . . . . . . So damn shit . We're friend . Can't we be ? Tell me if you face anything . Shittt .

The feeling is so tired . Crying in loneliness . No one .

Fooling

What's going on ? Why everything not smoothly ? Are the world fooling me ? I knew , I'll not get any answer for my question . I'll bare my own feeling again . For once , how my single life start to be . I miss you . I really do .

7 days . It's so much . But I can't stand without you . Your smell , your love , your laugh , your voice , your miss . I miss everything of you . Be backk . . SORRY for my mistake .

I've no idea right now . I've no idea how to write or even say out my feeling . It's ROJAK . Hate my life . Tired of it .

Well , LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST . Smile . Weeeeeeeeeee ~ I'll put on a smile no matter when or what but inner , I don't know .

Things happen . Let it . Live for tomorrow . There's more hope and things to wait for us . GO GO GO ~ I can go for it . Hahahahahaa` Laugh to the highest potential .

Loads of luv from me . PRAY .

Maybe

We're so close yet so far from each other . I'll wait . Can't we just start all over again . Give me one more chance . So , I'll wait for you . Cause I dont know what else I can do . It take the rest of my life .

Wish everything will be fine cause I ain't perfect in this world . Thanks . HPOE .

...

Because you leave me badly . . I wish we will leave together . Not what we plan to leave . But what God want us to be .

All I can say FEAR . PHOBIA . See those picture . I feel to do it on myself . Cause it's hurt . I wanted to feel it together with them . My heart are too soft . I knew . But . .

But with your exist , I feel so much better . Your hug warm me a lot . Making my mind clear of those phobia by killing myself . Thanks for becoming a perfect guy for me . I lub euuu ~

My mind full with question mark . So sick of thinking . I feel fainting . But , I'll be strong . I knew you need my day . GO GO GO . WO KE YI .

Pray .

My love

Babee , my love . How much I miss you . Hope you can feel it there . When we gonna meet each other again ? Miss you like there's no tomorrow . Remind me of everysecond we used to be together . It's just so sweet . Yet we're so close . I MISS YOU .

10 days babee . Time flies . Hope our love stand strong now and always do !

Trust

Trust . What does it really mean . Who the one we trust to .

No , there's no any answer in this world . No one you can trust even the person near to you . Living in the same roof . Everything is changing so fast . Why . Where's your trust-ness towards me . Find it out . And tell me what's going on .

I hope I can get the trust-ness from you . Everything will be fine . Ask me what you want to know . Don't back step me . How hurt when you know it . No trust-ness how we're going to live in a same roof . I hate . I love . Not what I feel . I felt NOTHING at all .

LAUGH . All I could do . Thanks for accompany-ing me . I laugh for no reason . Because I rather to be crazy than to be normal . I like laughing . It make me think nothing . The feeling is just too nice . Too perfect ! !

Past memories came through me again . How am I again . Past memories used to be my inspiration to go on . Maybe it called experience . I am tired . I am hungry . Who trust my words . Loads of word to drop down but I cant . Tired woiii ! !

I felt I'm wrong going into this . I felt I'm extra over here . I feel to give back what you want . What you hope for all this while . Sing loud out of lung ! ! How you miss everysecond of yours. Zhen xing .

Luvv . Pray .

Respect

RESPECT . No matter young to old , old to young . We must respect each other . So that we'll live in 1 Malaysia . Right ? Why . Someother are so sensitive about religion . Cause each other doesn't respect on it .

I feel it by myself now . I'm sorry , sincerely , LORD , I'm sorry HE said the wrong word towards you . I feel the SINS . I'm really sorry . I can't do more or say more . But SORRY from me . I hope you'll accept for it .

Please . We come from different . Respect me please if you wish me . Hope you understand .

Loads of luv from me .

Friendship ?

Definition of friendship : True friendship is perhaps the only relation that survives the trials and tribulations of time and remains unconditional . A unique blend of affection , loyalty , love , respect , trust , and loads of fun is perhaps what describes the true meaning of friendship . Similar interests , mutual respect and strong attachment with each other are what friends share between each other . These are just the general traits of a friendship . To experience what is friendship , one must have true friends , who are indeed rare treasure .

Friendship is a feeling of comfort and emotional safety with a person . It is when you do not have to weigh your thoughts and measure words , before keeping it forth before your friend . It is when someone knows you better than yourself and assures to be your side in every emotional crisis . It is when you can sleep fighting and get another morning with a better understanding . Friendship is much beyond roaming together and sharing good moments , it is when someone comes to rescue you from the worst phase of life . Friendship is ETERNAL .

But why . Why I can't even see my friendship around . They're playing hide and seek with me either . Ever since we step into a same class , from childhood until teenage . Do you still remember me . The one by your side . Giving a protect to you . A wide smile of mine .

I miss friendship recently . Maybe because we're stepping out of the door , we go for different direction . This make us like a stranger never meet each other in life before . Well , I never blame anyone for that cause me myself do so .

True friendship will stay and remain . Yay , I saw my true friendship . The one who stay with me neither schoolmates nor classmates again . Who always being by my side with fun and jokes . Others , separate since we got the last exam of life .

This is life . We meet variety of people . We should bare our feeling . No matter what happen in time , we should appreciate . Past really a past . We can never get back . It remain as memories and smile for it when we think back . It's really sweet as countless pack of sugar .

I hope we will remain as friend . Call my name when saw me . Although I've change a lot . Seek for me , click through my name , when you need help . I am here ready for everyone . Comfort , advice and happiness . I may not be the best but I'll try my best for all you .

Loads of luv from me . Lord , I pray sincerely .

Studyy

What I gonna choose for myself ? A shorter way . A longer way . An easy way . A hard way . No one can tell me . Not a single person even MYSELF . How do you expect me myself to choose for it . In the end blaming me for my wrong .

A local , offering Pharmacy courses . Need 6 years to complete . An overseas , offering Health Sciences courses . Need 9 years to complete . Which better .

What I want . Have been asking myself for many .

Dilemma . Future unpredictable .

I don't know

Urrhhh . . How can I describe about my feeling right now into words ? There're too much . Too much to drop down into words . No single word can describe all about my feeling .

SCARE . I'm very very very . I admit . By looking back the past , the moment shared with another half , it's all left as memories . But I'm still scare it will turn back . Not me , but another half of mine . I , never look back , I'll go on with my life . LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST . Do another half think so ? Does another half know that ? I , I don't know . TOTALLY ! !

Thought found out the one who share life with you , it's nice , ABSOLUTELY , but , the feeling so weird is so strong . Stronger than an acid pour into human skin . Heartbreaker ! !

FUTURE . What can I say more ? I pray , everysecond , everything going alright so that we won't get far away from each other and miss like hell . Our love never die but feeling may die as fast as a rocket to the space . WORRIED came over and tell me . Fine , I'll take the courage to go on .

Who . Who can I talk to . Who the one I trust and tell everything about me and another half . Who's ear are ready for me . Who's shoulder for me to lean . Who's tears drop with me .

WHAT . What I really want from the world . What do I aspect from my dream . What school am I continue to . What am I going to be . What charity work am I giving to the society .

Loads of question mark on me . No one can give me perfect answer cause UNPERFECT ME . Wonder life after this . Smoothly or hardly . It's all depend on my both hand and both brain to function .

Life full of obstacles . We need to be strong . Never put so much hope . Hope ruined sometimes ONLY .

I give all I can . I pray , LORD , everything smoothly . Loads of luv from ME =))

24.03.2010

Thanks for everything babee . So touched that you're always be punctual . I used to wait people always . Hahaa` Thanks for giving a great morning to me . I never hope for much , I just hope I won't get hurt , I'm in care and I'm be loved . That's all enough . I'm sorry . I could not be perfect for you . I am always who am I . All I can do is to love you back as how you love me .

Distance may make us feel our love will be lesser but I believe , and you agree that DISTANCE CAN NEVER SEPERATE us . I'm happy when you say it's okay . I hope you mark your word well . I hope you'll know which is correct and which is wrong . It's too much . I may not accept for now but I'll used to it . I'm trying , I'm scare for everything . I'm really really sorry =X

Me & You

22.03.2010

Officially he made it . But I'm still scare . Cause we gonna leave each other soon . Very very very soon . Long distance relationship ? Can it go smoothly ? I don't want . Absolutely NOOOO . Please , I beg !

LORD , bless our relationship well . Loads of love from me . Thanks for everythingg .

Not readyy

Thanks babee , thanks for giving a chance that make me look great in life once more . Thanks for the first time holding my hand gently . Thanks for your trust-ness . Thanks for your patient . Thanks for everything babee ! No words can describe about it . I'm sorry if I hurt you , I'm really not ready to go for it .

I'll do my best for giving happiness to you .

Yet , I still feel I'm being left out . I dont know why . I still miss my friend .

Babee , I need you . Lovess ~

Wonder whyy .

20.03.2010` My relationship status changed from single to in a relationship . I never think it will happen so fast but it's my dream but until a guy that we know each other for a long time asked me to accept the request . He even asked for permission to do something on my facebook but I never think that he will do that . I never blame him for that . He's so much sincere . Seriously , I havent really accept that guy . I asked him to give me sometimes but he make a fast move . That's all I can say why my status changed so sudden . Although I've been wanted to be in love so much , dreaming to have a guy by my side , but now , a serious guy came , I just realise I'm not really ready at all . Single for 2 years . Have been playing and flirting around for 2 years suddenly came a serious relationship how can I change so fast ?

I miss my best buddy so much ! He's a friend of mine , we know each other cause we're from the same hometown . How can he changed so sudden also right after knowing that he had done his job , means I am in a relatipnship . Why ? He's so much important for me . We've been so sweet but he changed . Joke , fun , flirt and stupidness . So much precious for me . I treat him like no one else . Until the last minute of yesterday he told me everything why he feel so . Cant blame me for that cause he never tell me so . I really miss you babee .

Loads of love from me . Sincerely !

18.03.2010`

I'm totally disappointed and feel I've no more hope to go on . When asked why are you so determine to go for that . I answer , I fall in love with it . How can I let go easily ? When asked not to think so much . I'm sorry , cause this is what every human do feel . I try to let go , not to think the future what will happen . As the things come to me , I'll accept it and life still goes on no matter what choice .

I wish God will lead my way . Luvss from me .

11.03.2010

11.03.2010 , a history in my life . SPM 2009 result is coming out and dream will be decided .. No matter what path I choose , I'll go for it and giving my best . Seriously , I am quite disappointed with my result but since I've gave my very best , gave what I've learnt , I'm very statisfy with it . Hard work paid off and that's my ability .

Thanks GOD a lot first thing came through my mind after I receive my result slip . Thanks for answering my prayer . I knew I'm not as perfect as others but I did my best and I leave it on GOD'S hand . Whatever HE gave , I'll accept and keep moving on .

Secondly , I walk to my mum , gave her my slip . And I admit , I felt crying , tears almost coming out but I only manage to smile with my mum and she told me It's okay . Sharing a successful joy with family it's really a happiness . Then my mum called my dad and sis . Bro did congrate me when he came back from school . I keep on asking my mum wheather Did I done well ? Did my result statisfy ? Hahaa` I scare to disappoint my family who gave high hopes on me . Yet , they very proud of me . Thanks a lot ! ! Words can't describe how much love me towards my family .

Uncle , aunty and grandma did call my parents for asking my result . Silently , I told them I'm sorry , I'm not as clever as others , sorry for not making it perfect score . However , thanks for the support and put hopes on me . I'll be a better one ! Believe my words , I'll prove .

Lonely Day

It's another lonely day staying at home . I'm so bored with nothing to do . My mind went blank . I don't know what should I do . Feeling of worrying .

I pray .

Prom Night 2009`

I just realised that March is coming where it's been a year since we went for INTI PROM NIGHT 2009 themed Prince & Princess . We , included , Me , Sis , Bro and Raymond . Where this year themed Vintage & Retro at The Banquet we will not be joining . How time flies .

Maybee

In a few days more , another history will be record in my diary . I pray hardly , everything going smoothly . If really , everything gonna change into a new one .

I , don't want the old history , left it as memory , lets begin with new history of life .

Am , ready for everything .

Lord , I offer my hand and pray . Be my side now and forever LOVESS ~

Philosophy of Love

Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.
Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you.
What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry?
If love isn't a game, why are there so many players?
Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.
You can only go as far as you push!
Actions speak louder than words.
The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else.
Don't let the past hold you back, you're missing the good stuff.
Life's short. If you don't look around once in a while you might miss it.
A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have.
Some people make the world special by just being in it.
Best friends are the siblings God forgot to give us.
When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there.
True friendship never ends.
Friends are forever.
Good friends are like stars....you don't always see them, but you know they are always there.
Don't frown, you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end. Most people walk in and out of your life, but only friends leave footprints in your heart.
If u love something...let it go.
If it comes back to you its yours....
If it doesn't then it never was.
A kiss is just a kiss until u find the one you love. A hug is just a hug>until its from the one your thinking of. A dream is just a dream until u make it come true. LOVE is just a word until it is proven to you.

I don't know

Why days full of worries ? =((

I don't know

I don't know should I keep or reveal things that are happening . I admit I keep everything for myself . I think for the solution myself . Sometimes I just ignore the things and act as nothing happen .

But , as a human , I do have my patient level . Say true , I don't know who to tell . Before this , I read a book , saying that don't scare of your secret will know by others , but still , I can't accept the truth . I've low self-esteem .

What should I do to improve myself guys ? Haihh ! ! That's why I used to read psychology or philosophy books around me . It give me inspiration ! Loads and loads ! ! I love it very much .

Sometimes I do feel myself are going crazy to keep and think all those problem . I am too humble for everything cause am not perfect as others . I am just a small character in others eyes . I just be myself . I need more laughter . Can't deny it ! Haihh ! !

What should I do ? I scare to hurt both party . Tell me seriously .

In my name , I pray , GOD , be my side always and always ! Power and strength . .

I don't know

I don't know again Am I wrong for telling everything ? I just dont feel to be selfish in a knowledge I wish I can share with everyone and enjoy it together I wish I am not doing the wrong decision again I wish you will treat me nicely Regret will always be my starting .

March

It's 2010` March ! !

Yet , I havent got myself done with anything that left in history in the 2 months ago What shall I do this coming months and a New Year ? No idea ~

I don't know

For something happened , we could not change the fact but blaming myself for the mistake . I wish I can say SORRY for those who gave so much hope for me and now I ruined thier hope silently . I will keep my mistake until . I'm really SORRY for what had happened .

I am no more hope . .

2010 CNY

Let's some picture talk about it ((:

The end ~ Only part of the picture ^^

Not Expected

22 . 02 . 2010 came back ((: Early in the morning got an unexpected text . My heart are as empty as you too .

Asked me few question , Am I be with someone already ? Is there any chances for him ? And still the same , waiting for me . .

What should I answer ? I could only give him a smile and says I'm still single and not ready to fall into serious love with someone else , Go for a better one if there is any :))

By then , we chated for some comman topic and he says until today , I am still HAO GUAI . Hahaa` I am still who am I *wink*

Seriuously , am not sure what are my heart feel when chated with him . Well , happy jiu hao Weeeee ~ Hahaa`

Happiness

Hahaa` It's Chinese New Year Eve 2010` Hahaa` Have a nice reunion dinner with family just now. We got to CHEERS together. Awww . . So touchedd ! ! Hahaa` Suddenly I felt I'm so XING FU ~ Hahaa` Fireworks are all around. So nice to have this kind of feeling where everyone face stick with smiley and happiness. Hahaa`

So here , sincerely I wish everyone out there , no matter old or young , GONG XI FA CAI , HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR , and , SELAMAT TAHUN BARU CINA ! ! ! ((= Hahaa` Enjoy everysecond with a warm heart :D

And of course , HAPPY VALENTINE DAY , I LOVE my familyy so muchh ~ *huggies*

NO.

Have no comment on my feeling :X

Hear this 黃小琥-沒那麼簡單

Few more days to go yay Weeeeeeeeeee `

新年快乐 & 情人节快乐 !

I made my own desicion to erase I am statisfy New babee ~

Thanks, it's enough, Am very happieee :))

Peoples complain ugly but am LIKEY ! ! =@

Hmmm...

Hmmm.. I'm thinking of . . . Life is full of beauty. Notice it Notice the bumble bee, the small child and the smiling faces. Smell the rain and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential and fight for your dreams =))

Quite busy this few days for hepling my grandma to do some biscuits and cookies. Hahaa` Hey, i do involve myself already. Hahaa`

And seaweed where didnt took the picture of it. Hahaa` That's all Love life yay ! c(:

Bitch

Bitch Bitch Bitch ! You're only a Bitch. I don't care ! ! Where I can't blame you HIDING from me. Hahaa` I am proud of myself cause I do nothing wrong, yet, I still have the faces to face with you. But you ain't hahaa` How bitchy are you?? Think it by yourself. Hahaa`

This may last forever but I am very happy with the desicion because I don't need to hear any bitchy word from you again and again. I don't need to be the fake person in front of you. I understand. I wake up. Hahaa` You've your world. So what? Will it last forever? Ewwww.. Hey, you're in dream man! ! Hahaa` Don't think you're that great because of your appearance. They never know you well as how I know you well. Hahaa` Welll, it's YOURS. Non of my business ! muahahaa` WTF ~ ~

Hahaa` As for now, I am very statisfy that I've loads of great friend around me whenever I need them. YOU? go away ! ! Hahaa` And I've also learnt to be SMILE everytime. Even deep inside my heart are dull. Well, I don't care. LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST that's all I need for now and next time. Hahaa`

GOD gave me power and strength yet happiness I appreciate every little ever since Loads of <3 from me :DD Hahaa` Night babee ! !

=))

Hey, I'm here again. Got nothing to do ! Damn bored here :)) Hahaa`

Oh yeah, yesterday I go thru my sis Facebook account, I saw few of her friend from LimKokWing University post up that they passed their exam. So, suddenly RYKT name came thru my mind. WTH ~ Remind me he's also one of the University student. Wondering do he pass his exam with excellent or . . . ? Hahaa` In the end, I told myself that's non of my business again. Stop wondering ! Ngekk . . Hahaa` But at night, I asked my sis and messaged him. Hahaa` Well, Congratulation, he passed with flying colour ! ! WOW he made it. So proud ! ! Hahaa` He tried Yet, he got scolarship from his school. Means, he don't need to spend so much of money on the fees. Hahaa` Well, all I can say here, KEEP GOING ON you can :DD Muahahahaa`

Weeii, 1 more thing, I need more power and strength I don't know why :(( I just need it Hahaa` Ok, Buh-bye ! =)) Hahaa`

Yay, you to me before you left :))

。时间过去，一切都改变了。

Time past, everything changed

For the first time I realised since the world turned to be 2010` Not only a little thing that will be changed, but almost everything around. Life, Love, Family, Friends, World, Health, Future, Phisically, Mentally, Emotionally and many mooore that could not be describe. It's too obvious.

For the second time I realised since everybody busy with preparation for coming ocassion, Chinese New Year :)) I lived in this world for 18 years, the first time I did not involve much in helping. I don't really know why. Maybe I've grown up, where I care more about myself. Yet, there's maid who done it. I don't mean to be so selfish. I wish to help and like 17 years ago, even a little things, it will be done by me. And now, I could only describe, EVERYTHING changed. I wish I will get myself back and help in doing every little things again =))

Anyway, for the ocassion that will be held on the same day, this year will be my second year that I will celebrate with nobody and nothing special. I am happy with it and I just hope for a MESSAGE from anyone that luv me. Muahahahaa`

Weell, have fun and enjoy all I can say to everyone Hahahahahaa`

Good Luck B.L.W.S ! ! c(= Life still going on no matter what, so, stay HAPPIEE yay all of my Babe :*)

1st February

It's first day of 2nd month in 2010` how fast time fly without our notice :))

13 days more will be Chinese New Year for all of Chinese race
Yet, Valentine Day will fall on the same day =))
Wish to have a memorable and fun on both occasion this year with family and friends :))
If everything going fine, i MIGHT hardly to get the chances to celebrate with all of you :((
Well, I am still who am i
I'll remember all of you :))

18 years of my life. Loads of thing had change ! Really change. Change into more mature and a better for future. Told myslef not to think too much. Keep going on and put more effort. Everything will be fine. Right? :DD

Thanks LOADS to the one who always there giving support and never stop giving advice for me
I'll appreciate it no matter when i go :))

I am happy with myself now and i wanted to be more CRAZY then before. Can i ? Hahahahahaaa`

Heyy

Hahaa` My previous blog had been deleted because of some circumstances. Hahaa` Well, still, LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST. Forget the past and keep going on. No matter what, PRAY for everything :))

Recently realise that am are the LUCKY one. Hahaa` Take care =))